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anybody remember this?

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Until now, I never really care about what they’re actually saying. Except for the chorus. And the barking, too.

9 out of 10 kids prefer crayons to guns

Pearl Jam

I see a …who wasn’t there

I was getting through the ticket barrier to join the queue in a busway shelter. I pull my phone off my pocket and plug the headset. I was starting to play some music when something caught my attention. She was a little bit too tall for a lady. Her hair was long, and from where I was standing, it was impossible to see her face. She passed the ticket barrier and joined the queue. Her posture was a little bit crooked. She wore a very long dress that swapped the floor, which I think was weird for someone as tall (I guess she’s about 190 cms or so). She joined the queue and passed through the gaps between queuing people that were not too tight (this, even though very annoying, is considered normal in where I come from). And what’s weirder was that I seemed to be the only person that got stunned by her. Then as she turned to her right side to where I finally able to see her face, I shivered. Her face was like a statue. A very old statue. It really seemed as it was carved out of a very hard rock, and oiled. Her skin was red as burnt flesh. Then all of a sudden, she looks back at me. As I was seeing her eyes, cold wind stroke the back of my neck. I looked behind her and acted as if I was staring that thing behind her (my standard protocol when get caught staring). And suddenly someone bumped me from behind. I almost jumped of shock, but somehow managed to overcome (even though I’m pretty sure that anyone can see it clearly from my face) when I realized that it was just another passenger. So I looked back to where I was looking just a moment ago. No bus had stopped yet, and she was too tall to be hidden among other passengers, but she was nowhere to be found. Apparently I wasn’t looking at a human at all.

et cum aperuisset sigillum secundum audivi secundum animal dicens veni, et exivit alius equus rufus et qui sedebat super illum datum est ei ut sumeret pacem de terra et ut invicem se interficiant et datus est illi gladius magnus

Vulgate 6: 3-4 

To live and die by our own rules- free.

Secondhand Serenade – Half Alive

I don’t know how to put this the better way.

I broke my heart in two and give the bigger part to you. And swore to you that no matter what you do with it, with this piece I got left, I’ll always love you.

And they say that love – that’s really love – could never fail. But fail, it did.

Now, wondering how did I fail you. Trying to always be by your side, no matter how much it hurts me. And once again I fail as a man. So I walked away. I put my smile and try to make it work. Pretend not to care. Pretend that everything is better now. But I still sing sad songs with red eyes.

And when getting angry doesn’t solve anything, I laugh instead. But all the laughter were all laughing back at me. They laugh at the way I scream your name in the middle of the night. they laugh at my songs. At how I become so weak.

They say time heals. And little by little, you fade and I started to live my life. I thought. But how, when so many buildings, so many cars, roads, and for fuck’s sake, just how the fuck every light, every scent, every fuckin song I like remind me on how many things in my previous live vanish into thin air?

how can I forget you when even with my eyes closed, I can still feel you?

Do you miss me? Do you even think of me? Do you laugh the way you used to be? Do you remember? The day you will laugh happily to all the jokes I say? The first day I hugged you? Do you remember our promises? That you will regret your whole life by breaking it? The funny thing is that I kept my promise. But I’m the one kneeling, raising my hand to the heavens above, with resentment in my eyes.

So, what if I never hold you near, or kiss your lips again?

Now, that I’ve lost you, it kills me to say, I tried to hold on as you slowly slip away. I’ve lost the fight. I treated you so wrong. So for all the things we’ve got left, let me make it right.

To tell you now, all I can say that I won’t expect anything from anyone from now on. I will not take anything for granted. I will live my life. Try as hard as I can not to hurt anyone. If I could change, I would. Not for you or anyone else. But for me. With you, all my hopes and dreams are broken. but hopes and dreams was not made of sand. It was made of life, so it will grow. As my skin turns yellow. I forget this hell. As the skies are bruised, and the rain comes down. As my face turns pale. Try to deal with these thoughts.

At the end of it all, I still miss you

Am I the only one who get erection seeing tinkerbell the first time?

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[vimeo 23848059 w=500 h=281]

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Fox News got pwnd!

Just for the record, this is indeed true… Fairly recently, I reached out to the guys to try and make amends and offered to reconcile for the sake of having peace back in our lives (plus I know how much it meant to alot of the fans.) I figured it was still possible to try and save us because they hadn’t made any announcements yet or begun any public activity with another drummer but sadly, they declined my offer (well, actually their lawyer did…they didn’t even tell me themselves.)

Sorry gang, I honestly gave it my all… So now the fans on my twitter and facebook can please stop asking me to go back to DT. I tried, and the door is now shut, the ball is now in their court, not mine.

PS – I’m not crying or looking for mercy by posting this. I am merely trying to set the record straight as that is always the most important thing about my relationship with you guys. no BS, no spins, nothing to hide and for better or for worse, I tell it like it is.

I’ve also recently seen some people accuse my online activity of “looking for attention or media coverage” or “looking for sympathy”, but it’s honestly none of the above. I merely value having an open and active communication with my fans, always have, always will. It is the cornerstone of everything I’ve done since day #1 with DT.

This was posted here FOR YOU GUYS to know about here on MY message board on MY website. If it ends up on Blabbermouth or some other website that chooses to sensationalize it, that is THEIR doing. I did not send it out or create a “press release”. I am merely responding on a thread on my own Forum.

Anyways, onward and upward.

Mike Portnoy