How are you, Dad?

I know you’re frowning right now, the way you did

I tried, Dad. I really do.

 

I dreamt about you once

You looked great

rough on the edges, the way you’ve always been

in a place I know you’d rather be

 

I wonder all the time, Dad

What would be if you were still around?

What would you say to me right now

What did I do wrong this time

 

I still have that yellow lego jeep you gave me

I smile every time i look at it

it’s dusty and i guess its missing some parts

i have never been good at keeping things

 

I still remember how you wake me in that early morning

to show me that orange helicopter you’ve built all night

I remember loving it so much

I don’t know where it went though

 

It was hard, after you left

we weren’t ready

I thought I was, but I was’t.

I’ll never will

 

You aren’t a good person, everyone knows that

and anyone who says otherwise does not know you like I do

but you are always pure at heart and that’s how I want to remember you

I love you Dad, and I know you loved me too

 

Are you with bro now?

do you guys see each other over there?

If you do tell him I say hi

I hope you both get along well, though

 

how many words did I speak to you, dad?

how many times did I offend you?

and that one time I didn’t say happy birthday to you but you said I did

I wish I could come back and hug you

 

You wanted to see me that one last day

I was there but I didn’t come

The thought of it was ‘the last one’ was so far off my head

I will resent that decision until the day I die

 

Once again, I love you

you made me who I am

you’re the only man that will ever have my eternal respect

 

Allahummaghfirlahu warhamhu wa’afihii wa’fu’anhu

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